17 Things No One Tells You About Parenting a Baby Girl
Is it really all sugar and spice and everything nice?
Babies, sadly, do not come with an owner's manual, which means that new parents have to figure it all out as they go. And baby girls present their own unique challenges. Not only do you have to teach her how to love what makes her a girl, but there's the prospect of someday dealing with dating, parties, and the internet. But know this: You're not alone in this parenting gig. You are surrounded by wise, kickass, hilarious, beautiful moms of baby girls, all of whom are most likely willing to share their expertise with you. With that in mind, here's your crash course* in what it takes to raise a baby girl.
*Mandatory 'not my kid!' disclaimer: The following will not be true for all baby girls. Some things may also be true for baby boys. And if any of these don't apply to your child, feel free to have a good laugh at everyone else's expense and move on.
Baby girls' often have seriously swollen labia after birth due to extra fluids and hormones in her body. Before you freak out and start saving money for labiaplasty, know this is totally normal and her labia will shrink down to a normal size within ten days, saysDavid Geller, M.D., a pediatrician for Baby Center.
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Changing a diaper isn't as simple as taking the old one off and slapping a new one on, and that is particularly true for girls. Thanks to all her nooks and crannies in her genital area, you'll have to be particularly vigilant in cleaning. And don't forget to wipe front to back to avoid transferring poop bacteria into her vagina. Nobody wants "baby's first UTI" in their scrapbook.
Nothing can prepare you for the shock of seeing milky mucous, blood, or other seemingly adult fluids come out of your newborn baby girl. But a vagina is a vagina from day one, and these are totally normal in the first few days after birth. Why? You can blame your own hormones, which are still coursing through your baby girl. But any unusual discharge after the first week of life should be checked out by your pediatrician.
Sometimes a vagina is just a vagina. (OK, technically, if you're looking at it, it's a vulva.) But when it belongs to an adorable doe-eyed infant, sometimes it's a pee pee, a front butt, a coochie, a twinkle, a vee, a 'china, or some other ridiculously cutesy nickname. The best part is you won't realize how goofy it sounds until you hear yourself saying it out loud in a public restroom.
Discovering their 'nethers is often thought of as "something boys do" — and is it something they definitely do — but girls do it, too, and it's all part of their normal development.
If you've ever burst into tears only to have your baby follow suit, even though she has no clue what's wrong, you'll understand that girls care deeply about other people's emotions. This innate empathy manifests early and is due to brain differences in boys and girls, according to a research review published in the Scientific American.
Even before she can talk, your daughter is watching every thing you do. Cut your hair? She'll cry. Put in earrings? She'll yank them (and possibly use them to try to pierce her own ears). Get new shoes? She'll wear them. But this adoration works both ways. If she sees you pinching your fat rolls, sighing on the scale, or refusing to be in pictures, she'll think that's what it means to be a woman and she'll want to do that, too.
The language center in baby girl's brains lights up very early as they look for ways to communicate with you. This means that girls speak at a younger age, use more words, and speak in sentences long before their male peers, according to a study done by Northwestern University. And once they can talk? Many girls turn into regular chatterboxes, narrating their whole day for you.
From the second she learns how to take off her clothing, she'll start expressing how she feels about what you've chosen for her to wear. Some girls are pretty easygoing, letting their moms dress them in tutus and headbands, while others rip those kind of accessories off at the first opportunity. Don't fight her budding fashion sense — watching how toddlers dress themselves is half the fun.
Enter a baby store at your own peril, because there are so many insanely cute outfits for your little one. While boys are banished to a tiny corner in the back, the rest of the store is filled with fluffy dresses, sparkly shoes, and bows as far as the eye can see. Plus, people love to gift infant girl clothing — meaning that you'll have to change her three times a day in order to get her in all those beautiful clothes while they still fit.
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Dressing your daughter is rarely a matter of just throwing on a top and some bottoms. For instance, try to figure out this problem that's stumped many a rookie parent: do tights go under a onesie, while leggings (which are basically tights without feet) go over a onesie? Or vice versa? Or try picking up a baby girl in a dress without sliding the dress up around her armpits — it's a serious skill. Then there's the issue of headbands. They're adorable and they show the world that your bald-headed baby is a girl… until they inevitably slide down and cover her eyes. Welcome to the world of wardrobe malfunctions, baby girl.
Whether your daughter popped out of the womb in a tiara and fairy wings or hates pink ball gowns with a passion, the princess industrial complex is strong. She'll soon know all the Disney princesses by name, sing all their songs, and see all their movies. You may think you'll lose your mind due to glitter inhalation, but calm down — for most girls, the princess obsession is a phase that passes all too quickly, and before you know it you'll miss the days when she wandered around the house singing ah-ah-ahhhhhh Ariel-style.
For every girly girl in a Belle costume, there's one in a ninja suit — and that's totally cool. There are still some bizarrely gendered toys and clothes, and these should get the public mockery they deserve, but in the meantime make sure you take advantage of all the fun options girls today have for colors, themes, and toys.
Think little boys have the market cornered on potty jokes? Then you've never met a little girl. Toddler girls are just as entertained by poop as boys are. And you just have to sneeze once and watch your daughter laugh hysterically to realize that bodily functions are universally funny.
You love the name Sophia? Cool, so does everyone else. You could try to make it unique by messing with the spelling (like poor KVIIILyn) and confusing her teachers for the rest of her life. Or you could risk ridicule and pick a truly different name, just so you know that no one else will answer when you call for Dorcas at the playground. But whatever you pick, remember it will be the first thing people learn about her for the rest of her life. No pressure!
There isn't a kid alive that doesn't love a lipstick tube and a lack of parental supervision, but little girls seem particularly drawn to imitating their mothers' makeup habits. Many moms have found their toddlers with a full face of eyeshadow, blush, and nail polish (yikes!). It may be funny at first, but some makeup does contain harsh chemicals or toxins, so keep it locked up tight.
Quick, what was your first thought when you heard you were having a daughter? It was probably a mixture of delight and concern because, let's be honest, this world can be a scary place to be a girl. But you'll be surprised to discover how smart and tough your little one really is — and how smart and tough you are, too.
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